I like women, I love women: I want her!

A friend of mine come over to Bucharest last weekend. We did as we always do, and said we’d have a quite one.

Around 8.00pm we headed out to check out the London Pup, a large establishment out of town a bit that has a huge permanent sign over the door saying “Party animals welcome”. The bar fit for a rugby club.

‘Ah’ my friend said on entering it ‘ there is no one here’
I have lived abroad for 7 years now and I still suffer from the licensing law habit of the first world war and feel I need to have filled my boots by 11.00pm.

We sat at the bar and as I had an important meeting the next day, I ordered mineral water. My friend spotted a bottle of Rum above the bar and ended up ordering some sort of a cocktail in English, to a guy who spoke only Romanian. We caught up on what was happening in our lives and the time flyed by.

A young woman wearing a pair of tartan shorts that stopped a few centimetres below her perfectly shaped butt walked in and sat on a bar stool near to us.

My friend could not help but notice her ‘… and so um yeah, work is going well and..’
The woman heard us speaking and eventually asked ‘ unde este?’
‘ We are from London’ I said
It appeared to be the magic word as her reply was ‘ I cannot hear you from here, I will come and sit in between you both’.
Our conversation changed from family and work to…
‘ I like London, I want to go, I like rum’ she said, as she ordered the same drink as my friend and put it on the same bill.

I could see my friend assumed she was a prostitute looking for work, but I was not so sure: she had necked three shots in about 10 minutes of arriving in the bar and when she went to the toilet we did not get a warning signal from the bar staff to stay away. I told my friend that it is common in Bucharest: skint students will latch on to foreign guys as they are assumed to all be rich and there goal is free drinks all night and if their lucky, a wedding ring.

‘You smoke?’ The girl asked me looking like on of Dracula’s wives.
‘No’ I said.
She noticed my drink ‘ You drink?’
‘No’ I said smiling
She leaned close to me and asked ‘Are you married?’
‘Yes’ I said still smiling
She instantly shifted in her seat facing directly towards my friend and asked him the same question.
‘No’ he said.
She did not move her position and honed in. ‘ How old are you’ she said sounding like Borat’s sister.
‘ We’re 40….’ my friend said not bothering to add the word six to the end of his sentence.
‘I am 23, I medical student, I have no money, I loooooooove English man’

My friend caught my eye with a, is she for real look as they both drank their matching cocktails.

The London Pup stayed more like the Nags head in Daganem for most of the evening and so it was decided to go to Lipscani, the old centre that rocks till the early hours.
‘ I come… with you’ Alexandria said as we now knew her.

We grabbed a cab and she sat in the front smoking whilst hitting on the driver. My friend was still convinced she was a working girl, but I persuaded him she was not and that this was the correct way for a foreigner to experience Bucharest. Being a traveller and all he agreed to go with it.

‘ We go Mojo’s, but you pay’ she kept saying
Shit, is the hustle not by the hour but by commission, from the dodgy nightclub owner? I thought to myself. We arrived; it was quid each to get in. We relaxed. There was only one table left, right in front of the karoke stage and in full view of the entire bar.

‘I like to sing, I looooove to sing… with you’ Alexandria said to my friend as she got up to dance to an out of tune version of Your Simply the Best. She moved around the table and parked herself on me. I managed to move her to the end of my knee and stop the lap dancing but didn’t notice a few moments later that she had her tongue down my friends throat, whilst still sitting on my knee.

Jesus, what will people think, to old English guys hitting on a poor defenceless Romanian girl. I thought

I managed to move her to a stool next to my friend and she started to climb on to him. I could see we were the karoke show now and not the main stage.

This looks so bad; have to think of a way out of this I thought.

Alexandria’s song came up and my friend thought he was going to be dragged on stage, but instead went up with a woman sitting at the table next to us and did a very hot number with her. On sitting back down, my friend was not sure what the night ahead had planned for him.

Alexandria looked into his eyes ‘I like women’ she said ‘I looooooove women… I want her’ and pointed to her duo singer who was waiting for her.

We started to role about with laughter until we noticed our own song was queued and so jumped up on the stage doing a very ad lib version of Bufflo Solder whilst dancing to the reggie beat. The crowed loved us, we loved it, Alexandria loved her new friend and we took our moment of fame to be seen leaving the building on our own – our ambassador reputations in tact 🙂

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